goodbye fuck

she said we couldn't be
no more she said when called
upon the phone the phone
when called and waking up
she said it's up times up
no more.

i went to her i could not do
else what am i supposed to do?
she said we couldn't be. no more
she said she couldn't be my whore.

she told me she does not like when i do
like this she tells me that it means she loves
me always loves me she will always love me

we fucked in her apartment for the first time
her apartment where she lives with her man
who she says she loves.

she loves me but she cannot be with me because
she is not strong enough to be with love
to hope for love. to hope for life.
to live for love.

she chooses to be limited instead of being
everything she always wanted died
inside her with the little girl

and so we fuck for one last time
and say goodbye and as i leave
she's watching me from inside
through the glass behind the door

she smiles and i cannot she tries
to smile to say she's sorry i
cannot accept apologies are not ok.

it's not ok with me to say goodbye
i leave and then i start to cry
i never stop to wonder why
i know and now i want to die.